Miracle Of Cellular Proportions

This was written by a great friend and Miracle Beard believer. Enjoy!

The Christmas Miracle Beard Testimony
I guess it is not too often that you hear a woman speaking to the wonders of a man’s
beard. This woman however has seen the miracle that is the Christmas beard. It really does
work and its power has been revealed in a mighty way to me in a twofold blessing.
The first thing to know that my esteemed colleague and all around best bud, Adam, is
who first introduced, nay, brought about the understanding for this thing called the Christmas
Miracle Beard. Being a woman, I have come to terms with the fact that it has not been my
blessing from God to be able to grow a beard. If I could grow one, I would hope that my meager
offering to God in the way of my facial hair could somehow bring about world piece. Alas, it is
not my place. However, I do have the ability to confer with my husband and gently persuade him
to grow a beard and one at that would honor the Lord in all its manly magnificence.
For some time now however, he has been resistant to my urgings and persuasions and has
maintained that it is in the best interest of his continued employment that he keep it shaved. I
persevered though, hoping that God would honor my wishing to grow a beard and still provide
the miracle. The bible says that a husband is won to the Lord “by the conversation of the wives”.
So I have trusted and waited for something to happen. Tuesday before last, 12/06/2010, God
honored my heart.
Dave, due to his sickness has been unwilling to shave. Not unable…unwilling. In his
haste that day of getting errands done he dropped his phone and no matter where he and my
nephew looked; they were unable to find it. Dave called a couple of the stores that he had gone
to and none had found it. After a couple of days of trying to find it and tearing our house, cars,
and front lawn up, he determined that it was just gone. He decided that he needed to go that day
and go get a new one. That was a Thursday. Friday David came home early from work. He got
out of the car and happened to look down in the snow by the car and noticed something sticking
out of the snow. He dug around it and PULLED OUT HIS CELLPHONE!! It had been buried
in snow for almost 4 days, it was still on and was frozen but it still worked! He brought it inside
and was almost yelling for me to come and take a look at it. I told him to put it in some rice to
dry out any water that might be in there and to leave it there for a couple of days. He did and on
the second day he retrieved the phone, put it back together, and turned it on. It still worked and
seemingly had been untouched by the damp weather and cold snow it had been buried in. On top
of that, previously there were three buttons on the phone that would stick and gave him some
problems from time to time. The three buttons work now with no problems whatsoever.
The second blessing that came from this was that due to the fact that he had bought the
new phone thinking that the other was gone; we were able to give the new phone to Elyza as a
birthday present when he found the old phone.
The point of this story is that I don’t believe that God honors the heart of the woman who
wishes that they could grow a beard and still makes it possible to bring the Christmas Miracles to
her because of her faith in what the growing of the beard stands for. In my case, God made a
way for Dave to become lax about his shaving knowing that this situation would arise to show us
that a man’s strength not only lies in his hair (facial or otherwise) but also in his woman’s ability
to believe in her man’s ability and God given ordinance to grow said hair. God respects facial
hair and he respects those that respect facial hair as well.
Wishing you the Greatest Christmas Miracle Beard,
Kelly Waldrop

America Is Much Colder Without A Beard.

In these time of economic crisis and uncertainty, you need a beard. May political types sit and waste tax payer money trying to stimulate the economy whether in tax hikes or cuts when the answer is growing right on face of every decent lumberjack providing the trees to make the paper that the politicians are wasting. You only need to grow a beard. Case closed, problem solved. Maybe the administration should let go of the earmarks and grab hold of the whiskers and hold on for a heck of a ride as we watch America become the land of opportunity again. Abe had a beard (Chin curtain, but we will forgive that) and look what he did to restructure this country. Abe understood what current patriots do not. You don't need stimulus bills or paperjam legislation. You need to throw that razor in the garbage before Christmas and make America great again.

You are a little late to the party for those that have just this second after reading my stirring appeal, however, sometimes the last one to the party becomes the very thing that gets the cops called. So don't be afraid or discouraged, anything on the face helps. Just grow.

You may be wondering why I chose this picture of Abraham Lincoln. Good question. I chose it because of the guy shooting the gun. What sets him apart from Abe? That mustache. Folks, a mustache alone is a cop out. He was jealous and had stolen Abe's mustache the night before, thus the chin curtain. All revolutionaries must die. But when they do, they become twice as strong. I don't want to call myself a revolutionary, but maybe I am.


Zom

War!

As with any war, there are casualties. Growing a beard is a war of attrition. It isn't easy to get past the itching and the odd looking bald spots and the change in beard hair color. These are the times that you could say we are in the trenches with our hats being shot off. We are scared, frustrated, and just sad. Every year there are casualties, those that can't take it and give up for whatever reason. Here are some common ones.

1. "My wife/girlfriend told me to shave it off, she hates it and doesn't want to kiss me." To that I say grow a pair. You are a man and beards are for men.

2. "I can't grow a decent beard." It isn't about the ability and DNA to grow a great beard, it is about the will and inner strength.

3. "I look stupid with a beard." You look stupid without a beard.

4. "3 months is too long to grow." 3 months is barely enough.

5. "My work won't let me grow one." Tell them the truth that bearded employees increase sales by 73%.


Hang in there, you are gonna like what you have accomplished very soon.


Zom

Growing Pains

Yes, my beard is itching too. So what? Do we quit because the getting there is hard? I say no way, we fight it. We think past the itching and hot burning that comes in the beginning stages of a beard. This is the devil trying to talk you out of it.

It is always dark before the dawn. It gets worse before it gets better. It is a miracle beard. I never said as your leader that it would be easy. Grow. Then grow some more.




Zombie

The New Season Has Begun!

Just a quick word that the new year for the Christmas Miracle Beard has started already. Grow'em if you got'em!

Tom's Finale!

Send in those finale pics folks, this year is coming to a close and we want to kill 2009 with some photos of the damage. enterthegrizzlybear@gmail.com





Z

The CMB Legacy

There is this unique and special thing that a CMB can do that nothing else in this world can. There are some in this life that just have not found a single thing that they are good at. They dream the same dreams of being recognized by their peers, they have the whole throw me up on your shoulders and celebrate desire, but cannot for the life of themselves find a way to make it happen, except they can grow this beard. This is their time to shine. This is their Super Bowl, their gold medal beard. They are the ones that we all want to raise above our heads and celebrate what they have been able to accomplish on their faces.

For others, who cannot grow a good beard, they work harder and wield with pride the uneven, and ratty scratch patches all over their faces. The CMB simply brings people together and makes heroes out of the ordinary people.




Z