Updates

It is about time to start getting those CMB update pics in to show the world your progress. Email them to enterthegrizzlybear@gmail.com




Z

We Are CMB

We sit in cubicles. We lie under cars. We make your doughnuts. We put up with much abuse. We run your companies. We act in your films. We pump your gas. We turn your beds down. We fix your TV. We sell you detergent. We do these things by day, because they are necessary, but when the nighttime comes, we are in our glory. We dine out and see another fellow brother CMBer, we throw them a familial grin and nod with pride. We root for each other in sporting events and elections because it isn't our views that matter anymore, it is our facial hair. It is the wicker blanket that hangs from our chins. It is that wheat sack that shields our faces from the elements. We are a proud people, and we are everywhere.

Let your boss lecture you, humiliate you in front of your co-workers, spit in your face, because we know inside that he is less of a man who bares his skin. So we walk away smiling because the bearded ones always have the last laugh. We always win.

December will be the beard and sweater party. See you there!



Z

We Have A Dream

After much deliberating and much passion poured into this new idea, we have decided to take out a small to large business loan and open what we shall call "Beards." This will be a restaurant located in the middle of the woods. The atmosphere will be what you would expect from a place called beards. We only hire men with beards for one thing, who will be your dedicated wait staff. The tables will be real, live moose that you can sit on and use their antlers as tables to eat off of. The place may smell like crap and meat, but that is a small price to pay. The menu will consist only of fresh meat, the restaurant hunters killed, beer, milk, and raw potatoes. We will however have a salad on the menu, but if you order it, an alarm will be sounded, a cattle horn, and we will come over to you, and rib our beards all over your eyes and nose and then possibly throw you out, that depends on if you have a beard or not.

Our uniforms will be jeans, flannels with thermals optional, a beard (Natural), and a red knit hat. For the bearded birthdays, we will give you the top half of a pair of used overalls to wear as a bib, and you will receive a back massage by a real bearded lady (We will also be advertising her as the freak show). The floor will be carpeted with bear skin rugs and the walls lined with animals we have killed. Your eating utensils will be a fork, a small wood saw (For the meat), and a tiny comb for table beard grooming.

We expect the biggest opening weekend ever and to be able to pay off all loans in the first week. We will keep you posted as things unfold.


Z

What A Quote!

CMB quote of the day:

Andy said...

I actually had a professor tell me yesterday that you can't trust anyone with too close of a shave.....not kidding! haha! Truth of the matter is.....I agree with him! The beard is on the way.....lets save the world!




I agree.


Zom

Orientation and Best In Show

Wanted to give you all some updates on the progress of this years campaign to end world wide waste of razors and aerosol cans through shaving. Below is a picture that will illustrate the different beard genres to give you some ideas on how to grow your beard.




My beard has been progressing nicely this year, getting really nice and thick growth early in the season. One of the downfalls of growing a specific Christmas Miracle Beard is the depression that the beard can cause. This is normal. Because we are achieving miracles here, we have to expect some sacrifice.

Still planning a photo shoot in November or December, if you are interested, shoot me an email.

The movement is really catching on as several celebrities have taken to the commitment of growing a CMB.






Below is this weeks CMB of the week. Notice it's fluffy beauty complimented by this wicker lumberjack flannel. This guy is a hero in this movement and has won CMB's best of show award for 2009!






Zombie
Thegrizzlybear@gmail.com

Full Body Beard

This is not what I would call, "A beard." This is simply a Sasquatch who happens to also have hair on his face. He has it because he is too lazy to shave it off and doing so would require him to shave off the rest of that wheat. See, he misses the point. Part of being a man is being dignified with a dignified Christmas Miracle Beard. If one has made himself repulsive and the ladies run in terror, you have done a bad thing. Beards should be uniting men and women around the world because of their obvious sexiness. This guy looks like he was born in the forest and has let the trees master him, not the other way around. Men were meant to be self-controlled and to have that kind of foliage and skank hanging around, even the nether regions, is a crime against manhood. Sir, if you are reading this, we like you, but please take a weed whacker to that ridiculous body.




Zombie.

A Dream Of Something Better

Posted this on the Facebook group last year of a very special little dream I had concerning a very special little beard.


Last night I had a dream of a beautiful Utopian world. All men were bearded and miracles were happening in front of everyone's eyes. People were back to chopping lumber with an ax and wore flannel shirts and work boots. It was weird. Because I wanted to be there. I was sad to awake and see all of the shaven faces all over my city. People that have no idea there is something better out there for them, something woolen and manly.

Zombie.