We Have A Dream

After much deliberating and much passion poured into this new idea, we have decided to take out a small to large business loan and open what we shall call "Beards." This will be a restaurant located in the middle of the woods. The atmosphere will be what you would expect from a place called beards. We only hire men with beards for one thing, who will be your dedicated wait staff. The tables will be real, live moose that you can sit on and use their antlers as tables to eat off of. The place may smell like crap and meat, but that is a small price to pay. The menu will consist only of fresh meat, the restaurant hunters killed, beer, milk, and raw potatoes. We will however have a salad on the menu, but if you order it, an alarm will be sounded, a cattle horn, and we will come over to you, and rib our beards all over your eyes and nose and then possibly throw you out, that depends on if you have a beard or not.

Our uniforms will be jeans, flannels with thermals optional, a beard (Natural), and a red knit hat. For the bearded birthdays, we will give you the top half of a pair of used overalls to wear as a bib, and you will receive a back massage by a real bearded lady (We will also be advertising her as the freak show). The floor will be carpeted with bear skin rugs and the walls lined with animals we have killed. Your eating utensils will be a fork, a small wood saw (For the meat), and a tiny comb for table beard grooming.

We expect the biggest opening weekend ever and to be able to pay off all loans in the first week. We will keep you posted as things unfold.


Z