This is not what I would call, "A beard." This is simply a Sasquatch who happens to also have hair on his face. He has it because he is too lazy to shave it off and doing so would require him to shave off the rest of that wheat. See, he misses the point. Part of being a man is being dignified with a dignified Christmas Miracle Beard. If one has made himself repulsive and the ladies run in terror, you have done a bad thing. Beards should be uniting men and women around the world because of their obvious sexiness. This guy looks like he was born in the forest and has let the trees master him, not the other way around. Men were meant to be self-controlled and to have that kind of foliage and skank hanging around, even the nether regions, is a crime against manhood. Sir, if you are reading this, we like you, but please take a weed whacker to that ridiculous body.
Zombie.
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